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A Man of Many Hats
Meet one of my son's baseball coaches, Coach Matt Hammond from Lewisburg High School. He is a man who wears many hats at different times: social studies teacher, assistant baseball coach, batting practice pitcher, bus driver, stat keeper, sports information guru (the man behind the very active LHS Athletics Twitter account -- follow at @TheBurgSports).
Coach Hammond has quite a story to tell about another hat he wears at all times, on and off the field, the "daddy hat." Over the next couple of days, the 4theVoiceless blog is his to tell his story.
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| Coach Hammond and Levi |
Happy As a Family of Three
Trish and I had Maddie back in 2000. We never really discussed how many kids we wanted to have or what we wanted our family to look like, but we never intended NOT to have any more kids.
After Maddie was born, Trish developed some health problems -- migraines and some problems with her neck. She ended up having to have neck surgery, going on some medicines that -- had she gotten pregnant -- she would have had to get off of. It just came to the point in our lives that we decided we were just going to stick with one (child). We had a great kid, and we knew that it just wasn't feasible to have any more kids on our own.
Fast Forward
Fast forward 10-11 years, and Trish ends up pregnant. I don't know how it happened; it was just one of those things that happened. It was in of December of 2010. We talked to the doctor, and she said she thought (Trish) would be fine, that they could put her on some other medications, and that she would be fine.
She goes through the first month -- no problems. We went to the first doctor's appointment, heard the heartbeat; everything's great. We go to the February appointment and no heartbeat. They found a small picture on the ultrasound, but it was a little early for a normal ultrasound. They said, "Let's wait a week, and see if he's just hiding." We came back the second week, and, sure enough, she had miscarried.
That put the desire back in our hearts to have another kid. We talked to the doctor, and she said that a lot of people have miscarriages, that it didn't guarantee that we would have another one, and to go ahead and try again. Trish got pregnant again during the summer, and she wasn't pregnant but for probably three or four weeks and had another miscarriage.
The procedures following the miscarriages came at very hectic times, one during spring break and the second the day before school started. It was very emotional, especially since Maddie was so excited that she was going to be a big sister. I can remember to this day telling her. I was ready to be a daddy again, but the most heartbreaking part for me was watching Trish and watching Maddie break down.
A Different Road
We decided that we didn't want to go through this again, but we still had the desire to be parents again. We had talked years ago about adopting, even went through a foster care class, talked about being foster parents. The opportunity just never presented itself.
Then, we started talking about adoption. We had never said no to adopting but had just never pursued it. A couple of weeks after our second miscarriage, Trish confided in her mom that we were considering adopting. Her mom was very supportive, as good moms are.
About two weeks after that conversation, Trish's mom came back to her and said, "I've found out about a situation that you guys may be interested in." It was a young lady up in northeast Arkansas. She had gone into a clinic there and had visited with a nurse. She was 18 and already had one child and was pregnant again. The dad wasn't in the picture, and her family -- it was a bad situation for her. This nurse happened to be a member of my father-in-law's church. She came back to church Wednesday night and said that she had found out about this girl who was then living with a social worker in her area. She knew that she could not take care of this child and was considering abortion. The nurse said that the church needed to pray for her and help her out.
Eventually, the nurse talked the young lady into considering adoption. Trish's mom came to Trish and told her about the situation and asked if we would be interested.
We were at least interested in starting the process. We were fully thinking that this girl would change her mind and want to keep the baby, but we said let's just see; maybe if this doesn't work out, then maybe something will work out down the road. We started the process -- had a home study done, financial background check, FBI background check, and all kinds of stuff.
We stayed in contact with the social worker this girl was staying with during this whole process, and the girl was progressing along and not wavering in her decision. By then, it was probably the end of October, and we decided to go ahead and get this decision finalized. Everything in our home study came back fine, and we decided to go ahead and hire a lawyer from that area since he was more familiar with the Arkansas laws and could stay in better contact with the mother.
We met Stephanie* a couple of times before Levi was born. In the middle of December, she starting to have contractions, so we went up to northeast Arkansas during Christmas break. Stephanie was a sweet girl and her little boy was just as cute as pie. Had you not known her story, you would have thought that she was a typical teenage kid getting ready to go to college and ready to conquer the world, but it was was frustrating to see her situation. The dad was completely out of picture, and she just hanging on.
We had the papers drawn up, and she signed away her rights. She was ready to say that when the baby was born, he would be the Hammonds'. One minor sticking point was that we couldn't track down the dad, but they eventually tracked him down, and he signed off on the paperwork, too.
* Not her real name.
The Call
I had told Mr. Brady (my principal) that we could get the call any day and have to leave quickly. I got the call on January 11, 2012, when I was doing my bus route. I was in Cockrum, which is as far away from the school as you can get and still be in our district. I finished my route, and Trish and I headed to Batesville. We got there around 11:00, and Trish was in the delivery room with Stephanie when Levi was born around 3:00 in the afternoon.
Stephanie kept her eyes closed and her head turned all during the delivery. She didn't want to see the baby, and she felt her heart-wrenching decision. To hear him cry hurt her heart. As soon as he was stabilized and could be taken out, the nurses wheeled him out of the room and into the nursery, and she never saw or heard him again. I don't know that I would have (if I were her), either.
We began a six-month probation period as Levi's parents. It was actually eight months later when we went before the judge and received the final adoption decree. We could now get his social security card and birth certificate as a Hammond.
Tomorrow on the 4theVoiceless blog, Coach Hammond reflects on the last 14 months, wearing a new hat as Levi's dad. You don't want to miss it!
Thanks for reading.
4theVoiceless,
Al
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