We Interrupt the Regular Blogging Schedule for This Update

In the Process

I have shared several "in the process" foster care and adoption stories with you over the last few weeks:

"Kidney Stones and Heartache: One Family's Foster Care Journey"

"Coach Hammond: Man of Many Hats (and One Very Special One)"

"Coach Hammond: A.K.A. Levi's Dad"  (Updated 5/29/12!)

I want my readers to understand that the process for families going through adoption or foster care is arduous and oftentimes heart-wrenching.  But today, I want to share with you one of the sweetest moments in the adoption process that one of our church family members experienced yesterday.

It's Her!!!

I couldn't wait until Friday, my next regularly scheduled blogging day to give you a quick update on Michael and April Satcher's adoption of little Primrose  (Michael first shared his heart for adopting a then-unknown-to-him Chinese girl in June of 2012 on the 4theVoiceless blog.):

Yesterday was the day that makes adoptive parents' hearts leap: The Satchers received photos of their little girl!  Read more about it and see other photos -- as well as the in-between parts of the Satchers' adoption journey -- on The Satcher Family blog.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled day . . .

Thanks for reading.

4theVoiceless,
Al

Making the Most of Moore and Newtown

The News You Never Want to Hear

The meetings for this past Monday at our Colonial Hills Church staff advance were drawing to close when we first learned of the deadly tornadoes in Oklahoma that had happened earlier in the day.  After making sure my sister and her family, -- who live in Broken Arrow -- were okay, I began to watch the news about the devastation of this storm.  News that included injuries to one of our church member's parents, injuries that they would survive.  News of damage that resembled a war zone.  And news of the numbers of children in the Oklahoma City suburb of Moore among the casualties.

Normally, the focus of the 4theVoiceless blog is children who have lost or been separated from their parents, but as the funerals have now begun for the children killed in the Oklahoma tornado, I felt compelled to write as a parent today.  A parent grieving with those who will bury their children over the next few days.  A parent who grieved with the parents in Newtown, Connecticut, late last year as they buried their children.

I have walked through the steps of grief with some good friends who lost their 10-year-old son almost a decade ago in an automobile accident.  The Lord was so gracious to them as they steadfastly placed their hope and trust in Him, even amidst their enormous grief.  I know that in Newtown, Connecticut, and in Moore, Oklahoma, you can multiply my friends' grief many times over, and that is an overwhelming thought to me.  I pray for their ability to trust in the Lord, even as the world as they know it has changed forever. 

Newtown and Moore have caused me to reflect on my own children and how grateful I am to still have them with us.  Having dedicated them to the Lord when they were all very young, I am aware that they belong to Him and that Loretta and I are caretakers of His children.  God will take them on His timing, just as He will us.  I hope that that time comes long after we are gone, but, as we have seen with the tragedies in Connecticut and Oklahoma, we have no such guarantees.

Celebrating My Children

I can't imagine life without any of my own children.  I'm so proud of them, for who they are and what they are doing to make a difference in this world. 

Ashton is in Russia right now, loving on orphans alongside Russian college students.  You can read more about that trip in "To Russia With . . . Hesitation?" 

In the photo to the right, she is holding a mouse (or rat, depending on whom you ask) that one of the kids in one of the orphanages had as a pet.  The girl then took the mouse back and put it on Ashton's head.  Ugghhhh!

I am very grateful for the young woman of integrity (amidst the goofiness) that she is and for how she is making a difference in the world . . . right now.


Garrett is finishing up his first year at Lewisburg High School after homeschooling for his first 9 years of school.  I think it was a courageous move on his part.  He has made good grades and found his place on the baseball team.  Though his freshman team's season ended several weeks ago, he gets to be a part of the varsity team that plays for a state championship tomorrow.  He knows the value of simply being a part of the team.  From all accounts he has made a positive impact on his school, and I am very proud of who he is.  He heads to FCA camp next week, and I eagerly anticipate how the Lord will use that in his life and in the lives of others.

Drew is having a blast during Garrett's baseball season, running around and playing with his friends Robinson and Tate (other little brothers of guys on the team).  I have thoroughly enjoyed all the trips to games and the father-son time that he and I have enjoyed over the last few months. 

Drew has recently committed to go on our church's mission trip to Haiti next February, trusting God more than his bank account to provide the necessary funds.  (For those of you who don't know Drew, he's 10 and without a viable job to pay for such a trip; God has already given him a glimpse of His provision for this trip!)  The kids at the House of Abraham are going to love him, and they have the most potential of actually wearing him out -- though I will believe that when I see it!  I love Drew's relentless energy (though, admittedly, it drives me crazy sometimes) and look forward to seeing it used for God's glory in Haiti and other places.

Celebrating Your Children

If you are reading this post today and you have children, I beg you to take time to celebrate them for who they are (not so much for what they have done) and make the most of every moment you have with them.  Use the disaster in Oklahoma and the tragedy in Connecticut to break the ice and say the things that you need to say to your kids.  We are not promised tomorrow with them.  Simply, make the most of today.

Thanks for reading. 

4theVoiceless,
Al

Coach Hammond: A.K.A. Levi's Dad (Updated 5/29/13)

Yesterday, in "Coach Hammond: Man of Many Hats (and One Very Special One),"  Coach Matt Hammond of Lewisburg High School told his family's story of adopting Levi.  Today, in question-and-answer format, Coach Hammond reflects on the last 14 1/2 months as Levi's dad.

The Hammonds: Trish, Maddie, Levi, & Matt (Coach)

What is your favorite thing to do with Levi?

Our living room looks like a Toy 'R Us store.  We've just basically set up a barrier all around (with couches and furniture) , and inside that area is his playpen, except it's huge.  I love sitting right in the middle of the floor with him running all over and throwing things at me.  He ran up to me yesterday and charged into me like he was a fullback trying to clear the hole out, bounced off of me and fell, and just started laughing.

When we put him to bed every night, for whatever reason, I started flipping the ceiling fan with my hand and it will spin a little bit.  So every time before we put him down, he will reach up go, "Ugghhh!!!" and try to grab that ceiling fan.  He's just funny.  He has started to take on our personalities, good or bad.

He's so cool.  He's so awesome.  We're so blessed.

Is anything different because Levi is adopted?

He's MY son -- 100%.  Maddie loves him to death, and he's 100% her little brother.  He is 100% Trish's little boy.  He favors us.  People say he looks just like us, and they have no idea he's adopted.  He's Matt Hammond's kid.

What about Levi's birth mother?

Stephanie* has sent him a birthday card, sent him a Christmas card.  We haven't gotten too close, but we're not going to hide her (from Levi).   

We feel like what she did was very courageous, very selfless.  To carry a child for nine months and have that be a part of you and give him up because you can't give him the life that a child deserves is a very courageous act.  

We're very grateful for Stephanie.  We don't judge her in the least.  We don't know what she's involved in now, we don't know what she was involved in before.  All we know is that she made a very courageous decision to allow us to adopt Levi, and we will never forget that, and we'll never stop being appreciative for that.

Levi's got a story.  Hopefully at some point, he'll be proud of that story and be able to encourage other people that are in similar situations, whether it be a couple that's looking to adopt and don't know where to turn or a young lady that's kind of hit some trouble and maybe made some choices that weren't the greatest, but there is a way out that doesn't had to end bad.  I hope that's the case for him.

*Not her real name. 

What did the heartache of the two miscarriages and the ultimate adoption of Levi teach you about the heart of God?

He knows what He's doing.  As a follower of Christ, there is going to be purpose and there is going to be meaning and God is going to receive glory out of your life, even in the darkest of moments.  We could have never envisioned that day (the day of the first miscarriage)-- it was dreary, it was rainy, it was a perfect day to receive horrible news, and we walked out of that hospital, and were both just devastated.  We could have never envisioned less than a year later holding a new baby in our arms and calling him "my son" and filled with such joy and happiness . . . to know that that day we walked out of the hospital on that rainy, cold February day -- as devastated as we were -- that my God was in heaven saying, "Yeah, you're upset now, but I'm going to take care of you; I'm going to handle it.  I'm in charge, and I know what's best for you, and I know what's best for your wife and what's best for your daughter."  And I couldn't imagine my life without Levi; I just couldn't.

If there is a definition of God's hand moving pieces, it was certainly our adoption of Levi. 

We never set out on this journey thinking it's our responsibility to God to adopt a kid or it's our civic duty to take care of the less fortunate.  That never entered into our minds.  It was just wanting to have another kid, and this opportunity presented itself.  Looking at it now, it was obvious God had a plan, and God had something in mind for our lives, whether it was that first thought in my brain or Trish's brain that, hey, you need to adopt, and then us finally saying okay, let's do it.  Every door that had to open, opened perfectly.  That was obviously God's hand in it.

Thanks, Coach

Many thanks to Coach Hammond for so eloquently telling Levi's story -- his family's story.  As the Lewisburg High School baseball team starts playoff action this week in their quest for the school's first state title (after coming up just one game short last season), check out the guy driving the bus, dragging the infield, throwing batting practice, keeping stats on the iPad.  That's Levi's dad.

Thanks for reading.

4theVoiceless,
Al

May 29, 2013 Update

Part 1 of this story talked about the many hats of Coach Hammond.  As of last Saturday, you can add another hat, that of state champion.  Congratulations, Coach!

Lewisburg Patriots: 2013 4A State Champions

Coach Hammond: Man of Many Hats (and One Very Special One)

Last week, I shared Dolph and Kimberly Crafton's story, "Kidney Stones and Heartache: One Family's Foster Care Journey," an in-the-process story of caring for the fatherless.  Today, in part one of a two-parter, I want to share an adoption story, one that is a little further down the road.

A Man of Many Hats

Meet one of my son's baseball coaches, Coach Matt Hammond from Lewisburg High School.  He is a man who wears many hats at different times: social studies teacher, assistant baseball coach, batting practice pitcher, bus driver, stat keeper, sports information guru (the man behind the very active LHS Athletics Twitter account -- follow at @TheBurgSports).

Coach Hammond has quite a story to tell about another hat he wears at all times, on and off the field, the "daddy hat."  Over the next couple of days, the 4theVoiceless blog is his to tell his story.

Coach Hammond and Levi

Happy As a Family of Three

Trish and I had Maddie back in 2000.  We never really discussed how many kids we wanted to have or what we wanted our family to look like, but we never intended NOT to have any more kids. 

After Maddie was born, Trish developed some health problems -- migraines and some problems with her neck. She ended up having to have neck surgery, going on some medicines that -- had she gotten pregnant -- she would have had to get off of.  It just came to the point in our lives that we decided we were just going to stick with one (child).  We had a great kid, and we knew that it just wasn't feasible to have any more kids on our own.

Fast Forward

Fast forward 10-11 years, and Trish ends up pregnant.  I don't know how it happened; it was just one of those things that happened.  It was in of December of 2010.  We talked to the doctor, and she said she thought (Trish) would be fine, that they could put her on some other medications, and that she would be fine.

She goes through the first month -- no problems.  We went to the first doctor's appointment, heard the heartbeat; everything's great.  We go to the February appointment and no heartbeat.  They found a small picture on the ultrasound, but it was a little early for a normal ultrasound.  They said, "Let's wait a week, and see if he's just hiding."  We came back the second week, and, sure enough, she had miscarried.

That put the desire back in our hearts to have another kid.  We talked to the doctor, and she said that a lot of people have miscarriages, that it didn't guarantee that we would have another one, and to go ahead and try again.  Trish got pregnant again during the summer, and she wasn't pregnant but for probably three or four weeks and had another miscarriage. 

The procedures following the miscarriages came at very hectic times, one during spring break and the second the day before school started.  It was very emotional, especially since Maddie was so excited that she was going to be a big sister.  I can remember to this day telling her.  I was ready to be a daddy again, but the most heartbreaking part for me was watching Trish and watching Maddie break down.

A Different Road

We decided that we didn't want to go through this again, but we still had the desire to be parents again.  We had talked years ago about adopting, even went through a foster care class, talked about being foster parents.  The opportunity just never presented itself.

Then, we started talking about adoption.  We had never said no to adopting but had just never pursued it.  A couple of weeks after our second miscarriage, Trish confided in her mom that we were considering adopting.  Her mom was very supportive, as good moms are.

About two weeks after that conversation, Trish's mom came back to her and said, "I've found out about a situation that you guys may be interested in."  It was a young lady up in northeast Arkansas.  She had gone into a clinic there and had visited with a nurse.  She was 18 and already had one child and was pregnant again.  The dad wasn't in the picture, and her family -- it was a bad situation for her.  This nurse happened to be a member of my father-in-law's church.  She came back to church Wednesday night and said that she had found out about this girl who was then living with a social worker in her area.  She knew that she could not take care of this child and was considering abortion.  The nurse said that the church needed to pray for her and help her out.

Eventually, the nurse talked the young lady into considering adoption.  Trish's mom came to Trish and told her about the situation and asked if we would be interested.  

We were at least interested in starting the process.  We were fully thinking that this girl would change her mind and want to keep the baby, but we said let's just see; maybe if this doesn't work out, then maybe something will work out down the road.  We started the process -- had a home study done, financial background check, FBI background check, and all kinds of stuff.  

We stayed in contact with the social worker this girl was staying with during this whole process, and the girl was progressing along and not wavering in her decision.  By then, it was probably the end of October, and we decided to go ahead and get this decision finalized.  Everything in our home study came back fine, and we decided to go ahead and hire a lawyer from that area since he was more familiar with the Arkansas laws and could stay in better contact with the mother.

We met Stephanie* a couple of times before Levi was born.  In the middle of December, she starting to have contractions, so we went up to northeast Arkansas during Christmas break.  Stephanie was a sweet girl and her little boy was just as cute as pie.  Had you not known her story, you would have thought that she was a typical teenage kid getting ready to go to college and ready to conquer the world, but it was was frustrating to see her situation.  The dad was completely out of picture, and she just hanging on.

We had the papers drawn up, and she signed away her rights.  She was ready to say that when the baby was born, he would be the Hammonds'.  One minor sticking point was that we couldn't track down the dad, but they eventually tracked him down, and he signed off on the paperwork, too.

* Not her real name.

The Call

I had told Mr. Brady (my principal) that we could get the call any day and have to leave quickly.  I got the call on January 11, 2012, when I was doing my bus route.  I was in Cockrum, which is as far away from the school as you can get and still be in our district.  I finished my route, and Trish and I headed to Batesville.  We got there around 11:00, and Trish was in the delivery room with Stephanie when Levi was born around 3:00 in the afternoon.

Stephanie kept her eyes closed and her head turned all during the delivery.  She didn't want to see the baby, and she felt her heart-wrenching decision.  To hear him cry hurt her heart.  As soon as he was stabilized and could be taken out, the nurses wheeled him out of the room and into the nursery, and she never saw or heard him again.  I don't know that I would have (if I were her), either.

We began a six-month probation period as Levi's parents.  It was actually eight months later when we went before the judge and received the final adoption decree.  We could now get his social security card and birth certificate as a Hammond.

Tomorrow on the 4theVoiceless blog, Coach Hammond reflects on the last 14 months, wearing a new hat as Levi's dad.  You don't want to miss it!

Thanks for reading.

4theVoiceless,
Al

What Do You Celebrate About Your Family?

I celebrate being part of my family.  Since the Lord began to increasingly open my eyes to the needs of the orphans of the world, He has also also given me a heightened sense of the blessing of my own family.  I wrote a blog post "Entitled to a Family Vacation" a few months ago about the things we who are in families take for granted.  Today, in a similar yet different vein, I just want to introduce you to my family and celebrate each of them.  This post is especially intended for those who have at least somewhat healthy families.  What do you celebrate about your family?
 

Yes, I do realize that I "outkicked my coverage."

I celebrate my wife, Loretta.  We celebrated 20 years
of marriage this past June.  Some have been wonderful, and some have been rocky, but she has been an incredible partner in the journey on which the Lord has led us.

She loves animals, and you'll get to meet every one of them.  She is fiercely loyal to her family, to her friends, and to our church.

One of my favorite parts of my kids growing older is the increased capacity to enjoy date nights/date days with Loretta.  We'll do something for Valentine's Day in a couple of weeks, but guess what?  We will wait until February 15 (Shhh, that's our secret), when we get our personal spending money, when the restaurants aren't overcrowded (and overcharging, in some cases), and when all the candy is on sale . . . and we won't be any less in love because we waited a day!


This is my daughter Ashton and my younger son, Drew.  Ashton started driving, and everything about our family dynamic changed, as we knew it would.  She is at work or church just about every night, it seems, so the time I get to spend with her seems much more valuable these days.  She has more of a plan for her life at her age than just about any teenager I've ever known (and I taught a couple thousand of them over my years as a teacher and coach).

Here, she's taking Drew out to lunch.  That's cool on so many different levels!

The little fella is nine years old and has something my other two never had, a roving gang of neighborhood kids to play with most every day.  I never really had that as a kid, either, so it's pretty cool to watch them paint their baseball field on the vacant lot, build and paint their clubhouse, and ride up and down the street in or on their various kid vehicles.  Drew has a vivid imagination and is one of the most interesting nine-year-olds with whom you could carry on a conversation.

Garrett, my middle son, is a "fresh-more" (started the year a freshman but will graduate with this year's sophomore class) at Lewisburg High School.  He is in his first year of high school baseball, and I can't wait for the season to start.  Most of my best high school memories came from the baseball team that I was a part of, and I had the privilege of learning some of life's toughest lessons through a game.  I'm proud of him for working so hard to make the most of his opportunity.  Garrett has learned the values of being a part of the team and of being coachable, values that are in short supply in sports and in life.

And we love our pets:

Molly, the cute, cuddly puppy  (She's actually playing in the first photo.)

Molly, the ferocious guard dog

Mookie (aka Mr. Fatty Woo, among others)

Mittens -- what a dumb cat

And then there's Mr. Fluffy and his pet squirrel, Buschy (actually, his tail)

I hope you have enjoyed this brief introduction to the Ainsworth family.  Even more so, I hope that you will take the time to celebrate your family today.  Not everyone is so blessed.

Thanks for reading.

4theVoiceless,

Al