Interviews With Ashton: An Angry Little Boy

 Previous posts regarding my daughter's mission trip to Russia with Allies in Youth Development:

"To Russian With . . . Hesitation?"
"Interviews With Ashton: Russia Meets Father of the Bride"
"Interviews With Ashton: Graduation & I'm Going To Be a Millionaire"

Kids in the Corners

Before Ashton left for Russia, Loretta and I urged her to find the kids in the corners, the ones that who might have felt even more rejected than the other orphans.  (Kids like Stephen Ucembe, whom I wrote about in "Remembering Kickball and Picking Teams.")  This was not new for Ashton; she has been noticing and including kids on the edges since she was a little girl.  But when you only have a couple of hours in an orphanage, you have to be intentional about finding the kids who are not as cute, as bubbly, as engaging.

This One Place

Ashton had several summations of what she observed in the various orphanages and transitional homes.  But she remembered one this one place, a place where Allies in Youth Development had not gone before, that affected the whole mission team, Americans and Russians alike.

Orphanage conditions?  

Closed-off, not really like homes.  Typically, rows of twin beds with each kid's belongings in a pile underneath or beside the beds. 

In this one place, the home to about 30 or so Russian orphans of varying ages, living conditions were not good.  "It was a very sad, sad place.  The place smelled weird."  This place was hard on the whole team and even strong, Russian university students broke down and cried over what they witnessed.

Caregivers? 

Mostly downcast but very closed-off at this place.

Kids?

The level of warmth from the kids in the orphanages and transition homes usually mirrored the amount of time the university students had spent there in the past. 

At this one transitional home, the kids had bruises in "unusual places" and "missing patches of hair" and "unusually scratched-up knees." The older girls were very depressed and downcast.  Ashton noticed that in the midst of this setting, there was one little boy who was positive, always smiling and trying to encourage the other kids.  And then there was . . .

The Angry Little Boy

Ashton learned pretty soon after arriving at this place that there was one little boy who never spoke and who was angry all the time.  She moved toward him and gained some degree of favor with him, though he would not let her touch him or even come very close to him.  Though he would not join in with the games that the group was using to break the ice with the kids, he came closer to stand by Ashton's side.

She drew him further in by first taking out her phone to take photos of him (He actually smiled for the photo you see at the top of this post.) and then by sitting down with him and letting him play a game on her phone.  (As she told me this, I groaned out of recognition of where this was going.)  Sure enough, other kids began to come around, first to see what this little boy was doing, and then for a turn at the game.

To avoid the rapidly approaching chaos, Ashton took her phone back and put it up.  The little boy began to scream hysterically, and one of the caregivers (with whom Ashton was helpless to communicate what had just happened) came and snatched the little boy away. 

For the rest of their time together, Ashton tried to regain the angry little boy's favor.  During some of the later activities, he would not let her hold him, but he came near.  When it came time to say good-bye, he waved to her.  "I was glad he didn't hate me."

 

Just Someone to Listen

How many of these kids are holding on to anger like this little fella?  When the caregivers are concerned with the practical aspects of caring for the orphans and not the nurturing aspects (like showing affection and listening), it allows pent-up sorrow and loss to fester into anger.  I have read that, many times, caregivers don't know whether they should try to relate to the orphans in a personal way.  Bravo to AiYD and the university students with whom they partner for not only providing at least a little personal connection with the kids but for providing an example for those who care for the kids daily. 

Offer a prayer that these caregivers take a moment to listen, even in the busyness of their daily routine.  Offer a prayer that these kids find their way to a Father who already knows the sorrow and pain that they feel and loves them beyond what they can imagine.

Thanks for reading.

4theVoiceless,
Al